And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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