Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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