big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
