I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Found the puke drawer
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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