You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
