Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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