morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Please tell me you havenโt left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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