my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
