Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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