you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
