you would pick up someone in the library
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Houston, we have a squirter
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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