this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
