it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
sarcasm needs its own font
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The adults are the big ones right?
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