So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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