called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize