Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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