Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My vagina is officially offended.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
