Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
