I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
