Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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