Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
