This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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