is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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