All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
