C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
