i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
then he tried to convert me to islam
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
