And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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