I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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