After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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