i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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