please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
