I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize