is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
