did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My first STD was from a foam party
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
