Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
