Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
