WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
