I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
