She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize