Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
