dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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