if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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