My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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