Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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