I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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