he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
