he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize