Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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