let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
