? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
