Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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