There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
