I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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