READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize