The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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