So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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