Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i would one night stand the shit outta him
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize