I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
