i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
that is very illegal...i love you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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