did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it was like his penis was on wheels.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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