Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The best revenge is premature balding
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
