I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
