Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
