Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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