two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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